SECTION ONE

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COLUMN 110, OCTOBER 1, 2004
(Copyright © 2004 The Blacklisted Journalist) 

IS BUSH FUCKING CONDI?
OUR BOY EMPEROR IS A
TRAITOR, NOT A PATRIOT

((Caricature by Trevor Irvin)

On the gravestone of Bill Clinton's Monica Lewinsky, the epitaph ought to be chiseled: 'sHE COULDN't KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT."  --Anonymous

Almost every President in history has had a Monica Lewinsky. Now, with Georgie-Porgie in the White House, I keep hearing rumors that Georgie-Porgie's Monica Lewinsky is none other than Condaleeza Rice. If history proves Condi to be Georgie's Monica, that would be the closest Georgie could ever come to being compared with the likes of Tommy Jefferson. Tommy had a black bedmate, too.

Otherwise, there are no similarities. Tommy Jefferson was a patriot. Georgie's a traitor. He comes from a family of traitors. His grandpa, the late Prescott Bush, got busted for dealing with the enemy during World War II. Georgie's always been regarded as the idiot of his family. Maybe he's so dumb, he doesn't even realize he's a traitor. Consumed with father envy---he loved the idea that if he could knock off Saddam, he'd be one-up on his old man---he let a band of Nazi corporate crooks mislead him into a war that can only result in disastrous consequences for America.

Is he's such a moronic "dry drunk? that he can't see he sent our young innocents to die not for love of country but because Georgie's ventriloquists---that gang of Nazi corporate crooks hiding in his shadow---insisted the slaughter was politically necessary for him to retain a firm grip on America. Sort of like Hitlerian Machiavellis, they told him to wrap himself in the stars and stripes and tell himself:

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to greater danger."

That's exactly what Nazi big-wig Hermann Goering said before he escaped the Nuremberg hangman by swallowing a secret cyanide capsule. And that's exactly the formula Slobodan Milosovic used to end up on trial for war crimes. By beating the war drums, Georgie and his gang of Nazi corporate crooks were using the oldest and wrongest trick in the book---invoke blind patriotism by making the tail wag the dog with a war nobody wants or needs.

Who dreamed up this chestnut? Our robots couldn't've dreamed it up because robots can't dream. You didn't think humankind had robots yet, did you? But we do! We've had them for years. And they've finally turned against us, just like in the movie, I, Robot. Our robots have grown so powerful that they've joined into alliances to become super-robots. They've grown so powerful that they can even program the minds of the people who invented them. They've programmed their inventors to think the way robots think. Which is not to think at all. They?ve become so powerful that they're programming the minds of the rest of us to think the same way.

Our robots are called corporations, invented to accomplish what humans couldn't accomplish individually. And now the corporations themselves have invented super-corporations to accomplish what individual corporations couldn't accomplish alone. These robots were invented to pursue power and wealth relentlessly and ruthlessly. Only unthinking robots would come up with such a time-worn failure of a trick like waving the flag and wagging the dog by the tail. The trick has worked every time but it has also ended up failing every time.

II.

Actually, Georgie is not so much a figurehead of that gang of Nazi corporation crooks hiding in his shadow. He's not so much their figurehead as he is a front man for the robots. And for the robots? owners, the super-rich. Whose minds also have become so robotized that they, too, think like robots. Which, of course, is not to think at all. Because robots are not human entities. Robots have no human concerns. It wouldn't matter to the robots one whit if the world burnt itself to a crisp in a nuclear holocaust. With robots designed to relentlessly and ruthlessly pursue wealth and power, all they can see is the wealth and power they'd accrue from a build-up to a nuclear holocaust.

III.

It is as much at the bidding of the robots as it is their own lust for power that this Nazi gang of corporate crooks has cheerleadered Georgie's rush to invade Iraq. The robots and the Nazi gang of corporate crooks want the same thing. Totalitarianism in America. One-party rule. A corporate oligarchy. America was never a true democracy, anyway. It was always more of a hypocrisy. A hypocrisy in which everything is fixable and where everything that's fixable is fixed.

Is Georgie so dumb that he doesn't know he's being manipulated by his ventriloquists? Or is he really so brilliant that he's the one manipulating them? He's become a giant in world history---a big enough figure to blot out the sun. His shadow certainly can hide the gang of Nazi corporate crooks who're alleged to pull the strings that make Georgie's arms wave at robotized crowds of adoring followers. Our Boy Emperor just gets up there and reads speeches he didn't write, mispronouncing the words he's unacquainted with and sounding as if he's as cold blooded as John Wayne laying down the law.

They love him, these crowds of dumb Yahoos. They love him because he's one of them. He's just as dumb as they are. He campaigns in shirtsleeves drenched with sweat stains under his arms as he reaches out to touch hands. So far, nobody's claimed to have been cured by the touch.

His ventriloquists may put words in his mouth, but he's a pretty good liar in his own right. All his life, he's gotten ahead by cheating and lying. He's an expert at it. Don't let anyone dare tell him he's not the one running the show. Or that he's running it wrong. He sees himself as the producer of Entertainment, like a football game. To Georgie, the war is something the people can watch on TV.

IV.

No, nobody can tell Georgie he's doing anything wrong or he's making mistakes or that Iraq is a quagmire or that anybody in his gang of Nazi corporate crooks is fucking up. Like  Field Marshall von Rumsfeld, who---against  the advice of his generals--- wanted to fight a war on the cheap. So there never were enough soldiers to guard the hundreds of ammo dumps that Saddam Hussein left scattered across Iraq. Every time the Iraqi insurgents want to blow up a Humvee full of American kids, they go to one of these ammo dumps and pick out a bomb. Or they load a bunch of artillery shells from the ammo dumps into a vehicle and enlist a martyr to drive it into a police station. With Saddam's ammo dumps for an arsenal, the insurgents have the arms to keep fighting  until the U.S. goes broke. Just like the USSR did when it blew its wad in Afghanistan.

V.

But isn't that just what the Nazi corporate crooks want? Isn't that the aim of the super-rich and their robots? Doesn't that follow the philosophy of the far right?

'starve theBeast!"

That's what Grover Norquist says. He's the right-wing ideologue the robots hail as a genius for coining that slogan.

'starve the Beast."

The "Beast," of course is the government. By starving it, Norquist means shrink it! No more Big Government that looks after the poor and the sick and the aged and that nurtures our kids. No more big entitlements such as Social Security and Medicare. Turn America into a third-world country that has only the super-rich, the peasants and a military to keep the peasants suppressed. No troublesome middle class. A country so poor, it has to run on the graft system, in which everybody with a badge demands a piece. We don't need a treasury. That's why Georgie emptied it to his super-rich friends. Georgie and his Nazi corporate crooks will put the U.S. into so deep a financial hole that the only way out would be to privatize the country. Put the U.S. into corporate hands, to be run by the kind of people who ran Enron. Make the U.S. a corporate oligarchy. Impose corporate totalitarianism. The super-rich don't want to be taxed for anything, much less welfare for the poor. And yet, at the same time that the super-rich are trying to grind the lower classes out of existence, the super-rich want the lower classes to shoulder the tax burden. That'd be another neat trick.

"Punish the poor and reward the rich? is Georgie's motto. Our Boy Emperor has already raised the rents for the poor.

VI.

History will know this war as "Bush's War." Fought out of father envy? Envy for Georgie's old man, who had to keep bailing him out of trouble his whole life? Georgie's always been considered the idiot of his family and now here he is, the most powerful man on earth. Can you see the buttons popping off his shirt? Can you see his chest swelling? Along with his head?

Figuratively, he was carved from the tree of greed. The same tree from which all super-rich have been carved. Or the not-yet rich-enough who just wish they'd been carved from the tree. Figuratively, Georgie's nothing but a marionette who thinks he's been anointed by a Christian God. A Christian God who even talks to Georgie and who even tells him what to do. But is it really God he hears or is it that band of Nazi Corporate crooks hiding in the shadow of what they consider their puppet---a figurehead now inflated far beyond a Macy's Day Parade balloon-like caricature. Our Boy Emperor's now so gigantic that he can blot out the sun. With an atom bomb? Inflated like a balloon though carved from wood! Is that another Christian miracle? And how can a blockhead swell?

VII.

Is Georgie a member of the Kill-For-Jesus crowd? They believe in prophecy. They believe that it'll be OK if we have a thermonuclear Armageddon because then Christ will return and bring all his believers back to life. The Muslim maniacs, of course, believe in their own fairy tales. They believe that to become a martyr for Allah is a quick and easy way for teens with raging hormones to get laid. They believe in jihad! After all, Islam was spread by the scimitar.

True, there are a lot of Muslim moderates who have no appetite for jihad. Whether they know it or not, the Muslim maniacs are as much their deadly enemies as ours. Does Allah really want a thermonuclear holocaust? That's where we're headed. These Muslim maniacs are NOT going away. They're going to keep attacking us until they find a big one to drop on an American city. And then WHO are we going to nuke back?

Nothing but a marionette made out of wood, Georgie is so dumb and unfeeling that he thinks we can win a thermonuclear war. Actually, by invading Iraq, he is leading us inexorably into just such a holocaust. But that's all right with Georgie, because he believes the prophecy that Christ's followers will be saved. To himself,  Georgie's a knight in shining armor leading another crusade against Islam. Hasn't there always been warfare between Islam and the Infidels?

And what about the rest of us? Don't we count?

Now that our Boy Emperor has changed regimes in Iraq, wouldn't we be better off getting out of that country and letting the Muslim moderates battle the Muslim maniacs? If Armageddon is inevitable, wouldn't we be better off just delaying it? It's as if we've been attacked by inoperable cancer. We've got to try to stay alive for as long as we can.

VIII.

Is Georgie so brainless that he walked right into the trap set for him by Osama bin Laden. Osama wants this war between religions. So instead of fighting al Qaeda in Afghanistan, we're fighting Islam in Iraq. Traitor Georgie has got America stuck in quicksand.  

The National Intelligence Council warned him that if he invaded Iraq, America would get stuck in quicksand. But Georgie was so hot to go one-up on his old man, that he didn't listen to the National Intelligence Council. Instead he asked the Central Ignorance Agency to find reasons why America should invade Iraq.

So, our Boy Emperor has got us stuck in quicksand. That ought to be John Kerry's campaign slogan. Put it on bumper stickers:

"Georgie's got us stuck in quicksand."

Otherwise, Kerry has all but conceded the election to Georgie by not having the guts he had when he won his medals. Was he afraid to alienate the people who weren't going to vote for him anyway? Was Kerry too chicken to make this election a referendum on the war in Iraq?

"We have to win in Iraq," one Kerry supporter astonished me by saying. "We need the oil."

In our American hypocrisy, we never get any real choice except between a lesser evil and a greater evil. The greater evil is like the devil. Even if you can't beat him, you've got to keep him at bay.

IX.

Slick Dick has already told the opposition to go fuck itself. Slick Dick, who talks out the side of his mouth, has said it with the arrogant swagger of a man who knows he's going to win by hook or by crook. Slick Dick, Georgie's chief ventriloquist, is the leader of Georgie's gang of Nazi corporate crooks. And the most experienced crook! Slick Dick always wins by crookery.

By violating the civility of the U.S. Senate, he has demonstrated his contempt for the civility that holds our country together. He doesn't give a fuck for any of America's traditions or rules. He's in power and he's gonna stay in power. He's the one who's gonna lay down the law. Our Boy Emperor already has the election locked up. The Bushies have already started stealing the 2004 election the same way they stole the election four years ago.

Glenda E. Hood, the successor to Kathleen Harris as Florida secretary of state, has already done what Kathleen did. Kathleen hired a company to purge the voting rolls of felons. Of course, the company made sure to purge more felons than there were. That got rid of a lot of Black voters who were going to vote against Georgie.

Now, Georgie's brother Jeb has told Glenda to do the exact same thing. Aint it clear that Georgie's aiming to steal the election again?

X.

Last time, Bush took Florida by some 500 votes. My guess is that the Bushies won't be content with petty larceny this time. My guess is that they're so arrogant they're going to win by a landslide. The same way Saddam Hussein won his last election by a landslide. Saddam is the one who counted the votes.

For the most part, it's the robots who are going to count the votes in this election. Most of the country will vote on touch-screen voting machines owned by the robots. There's no way to double-check to see if anybody fucked with the touch screen voting machine results. One touch-screen voting machine manufacturer has already guaranteed to deliver Ohio to Bush.

Obviously there are at least as many anti-Bush people as there are pro-Bush people in America---if not more. And if the election results don't seem to add up, won't angry mobs riot? Will America have to have its own Tiananmen Squares? Our Boy Emperor and his gang of Nazi corporate crooks have already let us know they don't give a shit what anybody thinks. The popular will can go fuck itself!

XI.

Why is America so dumbed-down that it's willing to accept an idiot as its Boy Emperor?

One historian has said that the Roman Empire fell because the Romans liked to drink from lead cups and the lead destroyed their brain cells. One of America's lead cups is its entertainment industry, itself a super-robot run by androids, robotic bean-counters who mistake big box office for high art. Androids because the men who run corporations run them with corporate minds. They make dumbed-down movies to sell more tickets to dumbed-down kids. What we see on movie screens is the equivalent of the comic books I used to read as a kid.

How can an electorate that once voted for the likes of Richard M. Nixon and Ronald Reagan not be considered anything but dumbed-down? And America is much more dumbed-down now than it was then. Which might be why maybe half of America is comfortable with a dumbed-down Boy Emperor. I'm talking about the half of America, that's so dumbed down, it actually believes Georgie when he tells us black is white, war is peace and everything is hunky-dory in Iraq. That's the half of America that likes Georgie-Porgie because they can relate to him. He's as dumb as they are.

XII

Did you hear him at the Republican Convention? He wasn't talking to you or to me or to the guy down the block or in the next county or in the next state or to everybody else in America. He wasn't talking to us. He wasn't even talking to God, with whom he claims to hold frequent conversations. He was talking to those he believes to be the next-to-Godly---the anointed, the elite, his true base, his friends, the super-rich, all those carved like himself from the tree of greed.

The super rich lifestyle is the only lifestyle Georgie has ever known because the super-rich are the only kind of people he has ever known. He's never really met, befriended or hung out with anybody who wasn't super rich---except for the slaves in his employ that he had to deal with. And what he's learned from the super rich is how to achieve success in the way he has always achieved success. By cheating and lying.

Georgie was raised in the hypocrisy that, along with oil, helps water the tree of greed. From which all Republicans have been carved. Or wished they'd had. Did you hear that never-ending stream of lies that comes out of Georgie's mouth? Did you hear them? Stretched truths, diced truths, half-truths, untruths. A porkbarrel full of empty promises. Bullshit unleashed in a muddied maze of obfuscation where his listeners would be left lost with nothing to follow but blind faith. Didn't you see the way he sparkled---all dressed up in a suit and tie on national TV, a beaming product of all his skipped classes at Yale, where he'd learn how to drink with the best of them? Because Yale is where the best of them go. He claims he quit drinking only when God told him to quit. Just like when God told him to invade Iraq.

Georgie wore his suit and tie for National TV but when he's on the stump, he takes off his jacket, removes his necktie, rolls up his shirtsleeves and he tells his blind faith followers what they want to hear. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Stretched truths, diced truths, half-truths, untruths.

Molly Ivins, one of those few who escaped the plague that robbed Texans of their brains described Georgie's Republican National Convention this way:

"It's hard to catch all the lies. The number of things John Kerry is supposed to have said that he never said was the largest category.

"Kerry never said we need to have a 'sensitive war." (Bonus points if you can find Bush's references to our need for more sensitivity.) Kerry never said we need other countries' permission to go to war. Kerry has never failed to "support our troops in combat." The whole list of defense programs Kerry supposedly voted against mostly came out of one vote against a huge defense package in 1990---he supported a smaller package, as did then-Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney. I especially like the inclusion of the Apache helicopter in list of weapons opposed by Kerry---that's the one that kept crashing. The United States has not gained jobs under George Bush. The net job loss is 1.1 million jobs, according to the Bush Department of Labor. Special bonus points for the novel charge by Cheney that Kerry wants to "show Al Qaeda our softer side." Showing real imagination there. . ."

But, oh! They ate it up at the Republican Convention. That big-tent Madison Square Garden crowd of a couple thousand. It was a great show that the G.O.P.-owned TV stations gave us TV-watchers---glimpses into the crowd. Full-of-themselves black nouveau-rich businessmen, some wearing 10-gallon hats, clapping wildly for our Boy Emperor. Beautiful blonde trophy wives enthusiastically pumping FOUR MORE YEARS signs up and down as if jerking off the viagraed penises of their aging ones and onlies. More mature trophy wives. Blue-haired trophy widows. Young and old vets wearing military caps. Young, determined, self-assured and fast-talking hunks. Scattered among them, some were wearing funny campaign hats of varying degrees of exageration. As highly organized as totalitarian North Korea's trained thousands packed in a stadium to hold assorted colored cards to change slogans and designs for Kim Jong-il with the precision of a digital LED, the robotic Republican faithful waved assorted placards at the TV cameras. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the microphone, many gropable trophy wives flashed signs that said ARNOLD. The crowd was equipped with different placards for different speakers.

A big chunk of the big crowd in the big tent of the Garden were the single-minded faithful fundamentalists of the you-can-lie-to-me-and-you-can-pick-my pocket-and-you-can-kill "my-son-or-my-daughter-but-if-you-say-you're-for-Jesus-you're-OK-with-me variety. Also those phonies who really can't afford to be Republicans but who believe that the way to get rich is to hang out with people richer than you are. In other words, social climbers who really couldn't afford to social climb. They'd come to exalt their great leader, our Boy Emperor. Propelled by his Nazi band of corporate crooks, he has claimed control of the party of Lincoln---once the hippest party on the scene. He has claimed control of the party of Lincoln in the name of America's super-rich.

So what was his BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH really telling his favored few?

"Listen! The War On Terror is really to mask our own class warfare. We will reward the rich and punish the poor. We will eliminate poverty by grinding the lower classes out of existence. We'll load the tax burden on their shoulders. We will no longer have to support a Social Security system. We will no longer have to help underwrite Medicare. We will no longer have to worry about a welfare society and will no longer have to let anyone else into our club. There's no more room. Corporate totalitarianism will replace capitalism. America will become a Third-World country in which only the rich and the peasants survive. There's no room for a troublesome middle class. The only jobs available will be kissing bosses? asses or else you can go into the military. Which will be used to insure against any peasant uprisings."

In other words, the super rich want to close their bejeweled gates and post a DO NOT ENTER sign. It's as simple as that! Except for one thing.

Our Boy Emperor has no clothes!  ##  

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